We Need To Make Love Cool Again

We Need To Make Love Cool Again

I’m 21 and never been on a real date. I know right it’s sad.

The only “date” I’ve been on is when a guy who was very infatuated with me asked me to go out to eat, but it wasn’t a date. I remember I was already on the way to get food with my friends but he told me he wanted me to go out to eat with him and he would pay.

I was a sophomore in college, who’s going to turn down a free meal at a decent restaurant? Not me.

I’m 21 and never been on a real date. I’ve never been courted and felt beautiful from beginning to end.  I’ve never gotten flowers. I’ve never had a guy do the corny ‘yawn and put his arm around me’ in the movie theaters. I’ve never had a guy to walk me to my door step and give me a goodnight kiss goodbye and I go home thinking about him leaving with lots of butterflies in my stomach.

It just really hit me that I really haven’t experienced real love in my young when media personality, Gia Peppers tweeted “We need to make love cool again.”

Even though I’m only 21, I feel like back in the day our great-grandparents were already married with 5 children, our grandparents were too far behind, but our parents were probably dating and living it up in life.

I know I’m “only 21”, but the thing is I’m not even dating.  It’s not popular in our age group and it seems as though everyone wants to date but no one is doing it.

In 2016, love isn’t cool. Everyone wants to be “a savage”or heartless. But why?  The closest thing to love I’ve experienced is yearning for love through old 90s-00s movies like Jason’s Lyric, Love Jones, and Brown Sugar.

Those wanting to be in love and writing love songs about the woman you instantly fell in love with days are replaced with money, diamonds, strippers, and codeine with Sprite.

I always say that I grew up in the wrong decade because I’m obsessed with the lifestyle from back in the day. Though I do love this hashtag generation, I feel like we’re lost.

Back in the day, black love was celebrated. Whether it was through music, films, magazines, or even your living room family photos, it seemed as though love was always around.

I used to look forward to seeing the couples in JET magazine, reading about their newlywed marriages or their 25 year anniversaries.

With love reality shows, dating apps, and everything that is cool has to be trending, I feel like love now isn’t viewed as something that holds value. We “compete” for a chance with a celebrity or just a random person for their love on dating shows, we pretend to be in love with someone just for the sake of a reality show, and we even get a little more shallow by swiping left on someone’s profile if their bio isn’t appealing to our standards.

There aren’t just one or two shows or two or three dating apps, but it’s now a phenomenon and a culture that is now second nature for millennials.  Oh. Don’t forget the ‘catfish’ and the ‘internet stunters’ who pretend to be a completely different person just  because they can.

How can I find love in this generation when everything that is supposed to have meaning is just now about the surface level.

I feel that the instant communication among us has ruined the face-to-face connection that we could have with someone. How can we really get to know someone from lurking on their social media, favoriting and liking their tweets, and hoping that their retweets do (or don’t) match their actual personality.

In 2016 we have so many terms that means we are “talking” to someone and not actually in a relationship. People don’t ask you out anymore, they “slide in your DMs”, we aren’t dating, we’re “talking”, we’re not together, we’re in a “situationship.” There are many more other words that complicates relationships in 2016.

Why is it so hard for us to commit?  When can dating become cool again? Simple things like going to get frozen yogurt, going to the movies, dinner, painting with a twist, skating, anything would be better than “Netflix and Chill” or simply nothing.

Social media and music has influenced our generation to believe that we don’t need love and affection and that money, hoes, and material things will suffice.

I just hope that one day I can sit around and tell my children about fun dates that my husband and I had and how we met somewhere like at college, a party, or through a mutual friend not by swiping right because I liked his profile picture and bio.



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