This summer I feel like a bus came and hit me with a big sign that says ‘ADULTING’ on it in big red letters. I’ve struggled like a bitch this summer and I never would’ve thought I would be living this type of way, forced to be learning how to do everything on my own.
I got the chance to finally intern at a place to pursue the requirements on my degree plan and learn about my field and this is the repay I get? That’s exactly how I felt.
So once I first found out I got my internship, I didn’t think it would be so hard to find a place to stay when I’m pretty familiar with the area and my university is only a hour away. Honestly, I expected my parents to hustle and find me a place to stay because leases, housing, and of course rent is something I thought they would want to handle. Once time gets closer, I see that they aren’t making the urgency to find me a place to stay…I knew it was up to me.
Lets fast forward. I get to Houston to my internship and I’m living in a hotel that my daddy paid only a week for and I had to find me a place to stay.
I’m thinking wow…what the fuck am I supposed to do? So everyday after my internship I’m asking my colleagues and really just anybody “Do you know where I can live until August?” & “Do you have space at your crib?” It was hectic. I’m literally stressed out everyday constantly thinking ‘where am I going to live after Monday?’.
Eventually a really good friend of mine let me stay on her couch for a good price. So after finding a place to live, I now have to feed myself and put gas in my car…great.
I really haven’t been asking my parents for lump-sums of money since I started getting refund money (you know how that be) and trying to support myself but this summer is different because I didn’t save any money. I thought they were going to support me. At least my living arrangements.
But in the mist of trying to work and adventure the world by traveling, they gave me a rude awakening. They feel like since I’m traveling I need to pay for half my first month’s rent at school and my summer rent as well. I’m going to travel all of July and the first week of August for conferences…I need that money. I have to eat…I need that money. I need to put gas in my car….I need that money. I literally wanted to cry. I felt like my parents want me to crash, they wanted me to struggle, they don’t want to see me win! But I took it all in because:
- I’m not the type to complain.
- I’m a problem solver I’ll figure it out.
- I believe people put you in situations to see how you’re going to react, and you won’t see me crack honey.
Currently, I’m still struggling and trying to maintain, trying to not ask for money, and crack under pressure because I need to learn to handle myself in this adult world but these are the things that I’ve learned just this month:
Save. SAVE. save. $AVE. $$$$!
I mean I’m a very independent person and I know that I won’t live off my parents forever but I didn’t think they would drop me the way they did. Everyday I wake up remembering that I’m a broke bitch and I wish I would have saved my money. This is my last year in college and I know now that I need to do way more saving than spending. I just can’t help but to think that if I didn’t buy those 5 Whataburgers, 10 Chipotles, and bought that lipstick, I would’ve had way more money. I learned that I’m terrible with money and now…that is not an option.
Going out isn’t that fun.
Literally every time I leave the house, or even think I want to leave I think about what am I about to do and if it costs anything! Not if it costs money, I’m thinking about how much gas, money, anything. I’ve went out a couple times and I’ve had to be that one girl sitting there drinking water and just turning up. I really do have great friends that will pay for drinks for me sometimes but I just can’t help but to think…I’m broke and I have so much to worry about.
Glamour isn’t cheap.
I love to look cute, have my nails on fleek, hair on fleek, and face on beat but this summer….I’ve been slacking on all of that! When I thought $30 was chump change, but now $30 is a fortune! I haven’t been into the beauty supply store at all, I haven’t seen the inside of a nail shop, and I wouldn’t even dare to look at any hair companies summer sales. I’ve come to love, appreciate, and work with my natural nails, paint my own toes, wear my hair out of my scalp or use hair I already have! *Sigh* I miss the days of being on fleek with my nails done, hair done, everything did.
I have to plan, find my way, and plan.
Everything starts with an idea and now that I’ve been on my own, I’ve been thinking of ways to self invest in myself so that I can learn to make money doing things that I love.
I’ve learned that I have to make it by any means. I’m “adulting” as millennials say or becoming an adult as the grown people say (because I’m not grown yet). It’s literally been a tough road and I still have a month to go before school starts and many to pay for. *cries*
Seriously, if you’ve reading this, you probably think I’m over reacting, but I’m just trying to navigate this thing called life at 21 trying to balance school, career goals, being on fleek in 2016, being financially stable, travel, have a fun social life, and all of thee above.
Good luck to everyone else that’s young and on their grind trying a make a way for themselves. Who knew it would be this hard? But I’m sure the outcome will be rewarding. Keep pushing young millennial, we got this!